It’s ironic, isn’t it? So many of us have ambition and drive, yet we undermine our careers in small, incremental ways without realizing it. Modesty is a great attribute to have. But in the extreme, self-deprecating reactions to compliments can prevent you from seeing the truth about yourself and your capabilities. Underestimating compliments with a flood of emotions like discomfort, disbelief or embarrassment, can lead to personal and career costs.
The Career Costs Of Underestimating Compliments
Neuroscientists insist that the human mind is like Velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity. We’re hardwired to automatically accept the inner self-talk that focuses on our shortcomings and downplays our worth and ignore or dismiss positive feedback from others.
If you’re like most people, you find it hard to accept compliments because they don’t fit with how you see yourself. When you receive outside validation from others, it can create confusion. Flattering comments clash with the inner critical voice that you have on a daily basis. And odds are that you allow the critical voice to dwarf the compliment, so that the result is to dismiss personal and career potential.
When you receive a compliment, chances are the mental mismatch between how you see yourself and how others see you can cause you to return the favor to take the attention off of yourself. Or you might question if the compliment is genuine or wonder if they want something from you.
You might even feel uncomfortable because you think you’ve misled people. That dissonance adds another internal discomfort called impostor syndrome in which you call yourself a fraud and are flooded with shame and doubt. This underestimation of yourself throws you into a cycle of career disappointments, which in turn lowers the value you put on yourself.